LadyKF Writes

The look Cloud gave Barret was positively acidic as he leaned in to grab his shot glass, freezing as Rude snorted and passed Reno a bottle to refill his own. The Turk smirked, winking. “What, you think that’s new or somethin? Pretty face ain’t just your thing.”

“I don’t want to hear about it,” Cloud muttered, giving him a wary look.

“You sure? Cause it was pretty great, broke up a trafficking ring. Fried a guy’s balls. Good times.” His grin went even wider as every man there shuddered and shifted on their barstool.

“You’re shameless,” Tifa chided.

“’m multitalented,” he defended, waggling his brows.

While Cloud wasn’t by any means comfortable with the origin of his enhancements, it mostly had benefits. It boosted his strength, speed, magic and stamina - inhuman, but useful. After the mess with the Remnants, he was trying to find more ways to make that useful. A lot of it was clearing monsters, especially around Edge where his family was, but also along the pathways he was establishing as his own trade route, leaving it safe for others to begin to use as Reeve and the WRO got the economy moving again.

For a while, it had also had the benefit of making him seemingly immune to infections and illness, barring status effects and unfortunately not counting his motion sickness. After the Geostigma, though, it was like something had weakened a little. Maybe it was because he was run down too, or the lucky hit a Kalm Fang had gotten in when he’d been surrounded by a small pack. It wouldn’t have normally been a problem, but ever since Meteor had crushed the reactors there had been slow, steady leakage and radiation from them. Anything that wasn’t killed came out stronger, and it would take a little while for his healing to completely seal up the shallow slashes over his ribs and hip.

Cloud cleared his throat carefully, sipping from the canteen he kept tucked in one of Fenrir’s compartments, and sighed; it helped the uncomfortable burn that had settled there. He wasn’t sick enough to be worried, it was unlikely anything could get that deep a hold on his immune system even now, but it was inconvenient and it still hurt. His breathing wasn’t quite careful enough after, though, and his breath caught, a cough making him wince and brace his side as the movement pulled at his injury. He tensed against a second, breathing shallowly and trying to resist. The last thing anyone needed with an injury in the vicinity of their ribcage was to start coughing. So of course that was exactly the sort of thing he was dealing with. Ugh.

It calmed down after a minute and he lifted his shirt, checking to see if it had disturbed the bandages enough to merit a change. Apparently not, which was fortunate. He’d just have to be more careful until his healing kicked in. Maybe by then whatever illness was trying to creep up on him would give up, too.

Cid leaned back from where he’d been looking around the mountain, chewing on his cigarette a long moment as he looked back to the former SOLDIER currently leading this crazy train. “You sure about this?”

“He’s our best chance,” Cloud said.

“We’re only gonna get one shot before we’re targets, an’ we’re an awful ways away,” Cid reminded him, pointing across the mountain at the nestled hatchlings and their . “That’s a good thirty fuckin’ yards at an angle that’d make you sweat with a scope. An’ all he’s got is that fuckin’ pea shooter-”

The report of the gun would have been enough for a pause in conversation, but watching the entire nest buckle in on itself stopped Cid entirely. The shift of weight sent it sliding, rocks around it shifting ominously and the dragon fixating on saving it’s young immediately.

Vincent examined his gun a moment, glancing back to Cloud. “We can go around. It won’t bother us.”

Cloud nodded and started to lead them into the mountains, and Cid fell in step with the stranger they’d picked up.

“The fuck was that about?” He asked, though he kept his voice low in deference to not drawing attention. He still had to wait a while before he got an answer, a small frown turning the supposedly-former-Turk’s lips down.

“Never underestimate what a mother will do for her offspring, Captain,” Vincent advised. “If you can keep her focused on them, she’ll do whatever you like.”

This is not the first time that the Buster has been passed on, especially in this fashion. When Angeal dies - at Zack’s hand, and let’s not get into that mess beyond the painful parallel of how Cloud also feels he’s responsible for Zack’s death even though he had even less choice than Zack did - he passes on the Buster to Zack.

Now, in the English dub (which was the version I played through) Angeal says “Zack, you have my thanks. This is for you. *hands over the sword* Protect your honor, always.” And then Zack has an audio memory of Angeal’s comment at the beginning of the game - Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams and honor.

Now, let’s compare the English sub (which I’ve watched and found very interesting because it carries a different vibe most of the time):

“You did well Zack. I’m counting on you for the rest. *hands over sword* Never forget your pride.” This is then followed by the same audio memory, but again, with a slightly different vibe - Hold onto your dreams. If you want to be a hero you have to hold onto your dreams and also your pride.

I’m not going to pretend I understand the full significance of the changes between pride/dreams to fit the better cultural perception of the words, but I know enough to say that I do think that moment absolutely influenced how Zack handled that moment with Cloud. Another scene I would say had an effect was the time in Nibelheim (before everything goes wrong) when Zack thanks Cloud for reminding him what the Buster Sword means to him.

I think Zack took the burden of Angeal’s words very seriously (and I say “burden” absolutely referencing when Angeal says that honor can be quite the burden early on plus Gillian’s words on the sword representing the honor of the family.) And I think, as much as he loved Angeal (take that at whatever angle you like, but he did love him in some way,) he probably resented that. I think that was absolutely one of the things he meant when he asked “why is everyone always pushing things on me?” before the last fight with Genesis.

In light of that feeling, I think the last thing Zack intended was to give Cloud the same burden. Looking at Crisis Core only, I would say that I think it was definitely part of what vorpalgirl said: you’re gonna live/you’ll be my living legacy (alternatively, the proof that I existed) is a statement of fact, of the significance of the fact that Cloud is going to live on even though Zack died, that Zack managed to save at least one person he cares about when the others died well before this and even forced him to have a hand in it.

But it’s also motivation for Cloud, because he’s been with Cloud this whole time. He knows that Cloud is struggling (he hasn’t even been conscious until right before Zack left to make his last stand), he knows that Cloud struggled with his self-esteem anyway before all this, and he probably knows that a standard thing that keeps people out of SOLDIER is if they don’t have the willpower/sense of self to make it through the process. That’s a really big thing to ask of a teenager, I remember that much of those years personally. A teenager is still figuring out who the hell they are in that weird not a kid/not an adult half state, this is a big deal and it’s no shock that Cloud “fell short” there - most people probably did.

But Zack is giving Cloud something here, he’s giving him something to focus on because he won’t be able to talk to Cloud all the time or carry him on anymore. All he has left to give are his sword to protect himself, his words to remember and his life so Cloud has a chance at all, and the last one is running out fast.

He never wanted to pass on the burden that Angeal did. He never wanted to push things on Cloud the way they were always pushed on him. But he knew Cloud needed an anchor still, and he couldn’t physically be there to hold his hand anymore, he could barely lift his own blade.

I don’t think he ever imagined it would have ended up that way, that Cloud could even do that, but he did succeed in one thing at least - he gave Cloud a way to hide behind him, until he was ready to stand on his own. And in Advent Children, even though there’s tears in his eyes to have to choose between Sephiroth and Cloud (and he’s lost Sephiroth, don’t get me started on my theories about what Zack was up to in AC) he manages a smile in his voice as he offers Cloud that same bit of strength, that quiet vote of confidence when he’s nearly destroyed again, and helps him back up before he goes.

(The Zack during ACC thing is HERE)