FF7 Ficlet: The Grocery List
Dec. 4th, 2018 09:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladykf[Tumblr post] At the top of the post is a grocery list I will attempt to recreate using text, written between two people, one with lovely, neat black handwriting and one in blocky red sharpie.
GROCERY LIST
- ETHERNET CABLES
- BISCUITS
- dry ice NO
- kerosene NO
- nondairy creamer MAYBE
- duct tape MAYBE
- Mentos > NOT AT THE SAME TIME
- Diet Coke > NOT AT THE SAME TIME
- PVC pipe NO
- cannon balls DEFINITELY NO
- entire cow (pre-slaughtered if possible) WE DON'T HAVE A BIG ENOUGH FREEZER
- many, many candles YOU CAN HAVE FOUR
- copper wire NO
- chainsaw ABSOLUTELY NOT
- blowtorch NEVER
- series 1-12 of Mythbusters THAT IS THE WORST IDEA
PROMPT: who in your OTP made the grocery list and who did the writing in red
vorpalgirl suggested a number of people, and I chose Valenwind.
“…the fuck is this?”
Vincent shifted on the couch, tipping his head to the side to get a look at his partner, because that was terribly vague even for Cid. He resisted the urge to smile, seeing the list. “You asked me to start a grocery list.”
“Yeah, so the fuck is this?” Cid repeated, waving it at him. “You don’t even use nondairy creamer.”
The fact that that was his first question finally made him crack, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe I’m feeling adventurous.”
“No shit, I figured that out pretty quick. You tryin’a summon a demon or somethin?” He squinted at the list, scowling.
“I rather like being the scariest thing in the house, thank you, and I try not to encourage Chaos’ posturing.” There was a mental grumble at that, but his resident Weapon was far too amused at Cid’s expression to really protest. “Would it have helped if I added tea?”
“No, it would not. You’re not gettin’ half of this shit,” Cid informed him, rereading it. “No. Just… no, Vince. Goddamn, you’re such a little shit. I don’t know how I ever thought you were dignified.”
“I’m highly dignified,” he protested, a hint of laughter in his voice. “These are not mutually exclusive traits.”
“Uh huh. Trouble,” Cid said, huffing. “The hell do you even want an entire fucking cow for? You only eat when you spend energy, the hell are you up to?”
“While I was not initially contemplating summoning a demon, I admit I’m highly entertained by the thought that you apparently jumped to thinking I was. But there are no sacrifices being made,” Vincent said. “I just want to try some things.”
“Yeah well if you do it’s not gonna be cause I helped, I’m tellin’ ya that now,” Cid said, marking up the list. “Whoever pissed you off can just have some traditional spookin’ ‘cause I’m not doin’ this. No. An’ you stay outta my hangar, if I see somethin’ missin’ I’ll get you.”
“I’d never,” Vincent said, smirking. “It’s not terribly time sensitive. I can wait. I excel at the long game.”
“Yeah you do, brat.” Cid shook his head, folding it up and stuffing it in his back pocket. “I’m gonna go my damn self. Try not t’ start shit, an’ if you have t’ start shit, start it away from here, alright? Gods save me from Turks, I swear…”
GROCERY LIST
- ETHERNET CABLES
- BISCUITS
- nondairy creamer MAYBE
- duct tape MAYBE
- Mentos > NOT AT THE SAME TIME
- Diet Coke > NOT AT THE SAME TIME
- many, many candles YOU CAN HAVE FOUR
PROMPT: who in your OTP made the grocery list and who did the writing in red
vorpalgirl suggested a number of people, and I chose Valenwind.“…the fuck is this?”
Vincent shifted on the couch, tipping his head to the side to get a look at his partner, because that was terribly vague even for Cid. He resisted the urge to smile, seeing the list. “You asked me to start a grocery list.”
“Yeah, so the fuck is this?” Cid repeated, waving it at him. “You don’t even use nondairy creamer.”
The fact that that was his first question finally made him crack, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “Maybe I’m feeling adventurous.”
“No shit, I figured that out pretty quick. You tryin’a summon a demon or somethin?” He squinted at the list, scowling.
“I rather like being the scariest thing in the house, thank you, and I try not to encourage Chaos’ posturing.” There was a mental grumble at that, but his resident Weapon was far too amused at Cid’s expression to really protest. “Would it have helped if I added tea?”
“No, it would not. You’re not gettin’ half of this shit,” Cid informed him, rereading it. “No. Just… no, Vince. Goddamn, you’re such a little shit. I don’t know how I ever thought you were dignified.”
“I’m highly dignified,” he protested, a hint of laughter in his voice. “These are not mutually exclusive traits.”
“Uh huh. Trouble,” Cid said, huffing. “The hell do you even want an entire fucking cow for? You only eat when you spend energy, the hell are you up to?”
“While I was not initially contemplating summoning a demon, I admit I’m highly entertained by the thought that you apparently jumped to thinking I was. But there are no sacrifices being made,” Vincent said. “I just want to try some things.”
“Yeah well if you do it’s not gonna be cause I helped, I’m tellin’ ya that now,” Cid said, marking up the list. “Whoever pissed you off can just have some traditional spookin’ ‘cause I’m not doin’ this. No. An’ you stay outta my hangar, if I see somethin’ missin’ I’ll get you.”
“I’d never,” Vincent said, smirking. “It’s not terribly time sensitive. I can wait. I excel at the long game.”
“Yeah you do, brat.” Cid shook his head, folding it up and stuffing it in his back pocket. “I’m gonna go my damn self. Try not t’ start shit, an’ if you have t’ start shit, start it away from here, alright? Gods save me from Turks, I swear…”
