FF7 Plunny: Party of Five notes

[ladykf]

[Tumblr post]

Some ideas from fflove190 for my MMO AU (Party of Five.) It's really long, so cut.

• Fighting viciously over a boss drop

 

• Grinding archaeology to get a soul-bound recipe only applicable for max alchemy skill that will allow you to turn into a dragon (it became a recurring joke in my nerd haven that I was hunting soul-bound on pick-up urns throough all of Azeroth, fuck Cataclysm)

 

• Lowbie ff14 leather gear

 

• That awkward moment when you bring your party besties together for a dungeon (your tank and your dps) and it turns out they hate each other

 

• joining a raid managed by someone who literally hates your guts

 

• Lagging during that boss fight where YOU CAN’T STAND ON THE DOTS OMG NO

 

• DPS stop pulling i fucking hate you.

 

• What part of OOM don’t you understand!? I can’t heal you if I don’t have any mana

 

• Omg there was a patch update now I literally can’t heal you guys. I’ve been healing for 85 fucking levels and literal years, now I’m weak-sauce this is not okay. ;_;

 

• WE MUST DO ALL THE HOLIDAY EVENTS. (omg they’re so stupid no stop) I NEED THE BREWSTEIN MUG, IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS

 

• Omg, I think a see a herb/gathering mineral on my minimap! Lemme bee-line. Meanwhile: your party is like: OMG WHY ARE YOU RUNNING STRAIGHT FOR THAT MOB NO STOP.

 

• What do you mean I’m off-tanking? Do I LOOK like an off-tank? I’m not built for this. I’m DPS only

 

• Get off the fucking spot now I don’t care how much DPS you’re doing. OFF.

 

• PvP: omg get this camping asshole off my corpse. This is not cool, I’m so alone in the world.

 

• PvP: What do you mean I need different gear for this?

 

• NO DON’T USE YOUR AOE ATTACK. DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND DPS?!?

 

• I’m sure I can start from level 1 with a healer build. There are only 80 levels in the game ~ (6 months later) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YA GUESS WHICH BITCH IS MAX LEVEL.

 

• What, did you guys seriously read that quest right now? Did that seriously just happen? Omg wtf this is the best.

 

• Wait! Wait party where are you going, I want to watch this cut-scene! Party: boss is spawning, I don’t want to waste time here. Dailies man.

 

• Puns. Puns everywhere. Gamers are naturally punny.

 

• Lagging while on your mount so you just keep pressing the arrow keys, and arriving somewhere totally bizarre while somehow not discovering anything on your map from the journey. And your portal spells are all still on 24 hour cooldown.

 

• A penis rock. An actual thing in Arizona, and an actual thing in WoW

 

• Giving out stat-building, max-level cooking food to your party at the start of a dungeon as we wait for the person with the slowest internet connection to join

 

• “Bio” is code speak for the tank took a piss break so now let’s have a dance party. Oh wait, j/k the tank is back we can’t dance anymore.

 

• You could teleport everywhere, but you haven’t discovered everything yet. And why are you taking your land mount, just why? Oooh, but it’s so pretty. But you can’t even appreciate it because your computer is running on the lowest setting right now.

 

• I just want to sit here and do nothing and jam out to this OST right now. Don’t ruin it with your emotes. (emotes all up in the face)

 

• /funny - no but have you heard belf jokes? Passing time with random passerbys spamming your joke and flirt emotes because they do it back and it’s so great.

 

• How did all the DPS rage-quit? Like. idk tank, we’re heals and a tank idk what more they want from us. Let’s queue some more people and wait for - oh wait, like ten seconds because we’re heals and a tank lololol!

 

• Catboy to fellow catboy: “are… are you blushing? Because I like it” (yes, on the darkest skinned miqo’te with the most awkward blush ever. Yes. Permanent character design choice. He’s so excited about the work)

 

• Remaking your character multiple times in the first hour of gameplay because you realize it wasn’t at all what you wanted to look like. Forgetting to delete your character and crying for ten minutes that your name was stolen.

 

• Pets. Minions. Whatever. Those cute little things that scurry after you

 

• Killing squirrels. And rabbits. And birds. Those poor neutral creatures. You monster. 

 

• Getting achievements for the slaughter of the defenseless

 

• PvP: Invading the enemy’s territory and defeating each of the city states (I was only lvl 10 when the Alliance came to Undercity… it was terrifying, I quaked in fear and watched as the Banshee Queen died. I was kind of pissed, I had a quest to turn into her)

 

• PvP: Fighting enemies that invade your city state

 

• Wandering into a level death area because you’re too stupid to know any better. And you can’t escape. The death penalty keeps getting longer and longer and god why don’t the mobs use another path someone please kill them.

 

• One of your party members just peacing irl for one reason or another. And you’re just standing there for 30 minutes, watching the timer for the dungeon go out being like: … should we boot him?

 

• No one knowing how the dungeon bosses work.

 

• Wiping. All the time.

 

• Terrible infighting on the dungeon party.

 

• Dailies. Those random, stupid ass quests where you just have to not read the text and just do the thing because it makes more sense that way.

 

• the spell that allows you to breath underwater… that your mage has, but forgot to equip you with before the chamber flooded before the boss fight

 

• “buff pls” And no buffs came.

 

• The rotating max-level cities that get crowded and then abandoned immediately after the next major release.

 

• Dungeons with random bosses (like the Darlaan prison, or whatever. There were like 6 random people who could fight you, but you only fought like 3 every go. It was great.)

 

• I need the drop from that first fucking boss and omg this is so annoying did that DPS just fucking need and won on TANK GEAR. AND THEN HE PEACED?! What a dick. Have some courtesy you squishy flesh sack.

 

• STOP STANDING IN THE FUCKING GLOWING DOT IT KILLS YOU.

 

• I’m going to let you die, you don’t deserve to live. I don’t care anymore. I have more important people to keep alive.

 

• I’m not rezzing you next time either.

 

• Initiating a boot for a party member… and they don’t get booted.

 

• Initiating a boot for a party member (fully not expecting the tank to get booted) and they get booted. You just kinda sit down and see what you can craft while you want for your next tank (1 hour later)

 

• Jumping. Everywhere. All the jumping. On all the things. Onto everything. Up into everything. Getting unstuck by teleporting to a “home” inn, realizing that inn was literally half-way around the world from where you wanted to be and silently cursing yourself.